Pedro's Podium: The Straw That Broke The Donkey’s Back

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

The Straw That Broke The Donkey’s Back

Today’s Democrat Party has abandoned the playbook of the party that most Americans learned and understood for years. I just don’t understand how they could have thrown out tried and tested strategic planning schema and replaced it with shortsighted solutions. The Democrat party of the past would have played it up with as much fanfare as possible. They would have never just banned plastic straws. They would have come up with a much more involved plan to steer people into what helped the party the most.

The party of the past would have either suggested putting a $1 for tax or deposit on each straw. The tax would be the best solution for the party. They could sell it as a way to implement a straw recycling program. This tax would raise the price of a case of 5000 from about $80 to at least $5080. The Democrats would just consider that the higher cost is just a part of doing business and not something that could affect profits, since profits are evil.

Since straws will require special handling that would require a San Francisco Department of Straw Recycling or SFDOSR, which would require its own bureaucracy. Of course, this would require special routes with custom truck to handle the collected straws for recycling. In addition, unionized workers, with guaranteed permanent employment, would have to collect the straws and additional personnel to run the specially constructed recycling plant built by unionized construction companies. Most of these workers will then be permanent Democrat voters.

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Just like with the cigarette tax the higher cost of the straws will force restaurants to quit using straws. The lack of tax income will then cause a crisis for the recycling program, which will require an increase in other taxes, or the more creative solution already built into the plan.

At this point, the tourist bureau and local restaurant association would be demanding relief. The final solution would be to cut the tax by 75% with a mandate that all businesses must provide a straw to all customers with a $.35 deposit and mandatory recycling program. This would have left the workers mostly idle and well paid. While funneling millions of dollars into the coffers of the local elected officials and the Democrat Party. A win-win for the party.

After all the back and forth the average person will have forgotten why the tax was implemented and most of the straws targeted for recycling will be put in the land fill or dumped 200 miles off shore.

Now that is a long-term Democrat Party plan that I recognize.